27 Weeks, 2 days & a good dose of Honesty!

Overall things are still going well with the boys. Baby A (the donor baby) appears to be “normal” and has shockingly defied all TTTS logic by catching up in size to his larger brother!  As of 1/24/13 both babies were measuring just over 2 lbs each! So much for being able to tell them apart based on size. All joking aside, Baby B (the recipient baby) on the other hand still has an enlarged/stressed heart.  It appears as though progress has reached its plateau and now doctors are telling us that we just need to be prepared that Baby B will likely have a longer stay in the NICU than his brother (meaning a few days longer).  They don’t seem too worried and say that most likely the problem will correct itself over the first 6 months to year of his life with little to any intervention.  Though I am not showing any signs of going into early labor at this time it was very sobering last week to hear my doctor enter the room saying, “Well the good news is we aren’t admitting you today…” Her goal is still for me to make it past 30 weeks.  My goal: As long as possible! Although full-term for twins is considered 37 weeks the average twin birth occurs at just over 35 weeks.  I’d love for that to happen for the sake of my boys. I believe it’s possible. Please pray with me that it is. 

I have now been on house arrest…ahem, I mean bedrest, for 8+weeks. As of today, I have not cooked a meal, shopped in a store, driven a car, gone for a walk, or gone anywhere outside of the house by myself in over 60 days.  People keep telling me “you’re doing a great job” and I know what they mean, I get the sentiment behind these words but all I can think is “a great job doing what?”  But I guess that’s it isn’t it. I’m doing a great job doing nothing; because that’s what my babies need right now.  Even that I’ve questioned though, I mean the surgery worked, at this point it’s just a waiting game- to see how long my cervix can hold strong, to see how much improvement Baby B’s heart can make on it’s own before birth.  I just keep reminding myself that bedrest: not only takes pressure off the cervix but also provides more oxygen and better blood flow to the babies (and a whole slew of other medical mumbo jumbo benefits that I’ve read). 

Ok, so truth is, when I hit the 7 week mark of bedrest I realized...it sucks! For those of you who are new to reading my blog, or who barely know me, yes, I said sucks.  If I’m really being honest, then you have to know that part of my hesitation to keep blogging lately has been the realization that hundreds, that’s right hundreds, of new people are viewing my blog.  If you go back to my very first post or even look at the title you’ll figure out I get a little (a lot) nervous about the thought of being misunderstood or misjudged by my words.  So I’ve been pretty intimidated by seeing the number of page views I was getting around the time of surgery.  The stories I have to tell, the words I want to share, are not simply those of a pregnant patient/guinea pig being poked and prodded by medical professionals while dealing with the very rare Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome.  I’m getting back to blogging about, well, me, my life, and whatever is on my mind.  My upcoming posts may not be nearly as important, life altering, heart tugging, or inspiring as what we’ve had to share in recent weeks but for me that’s probably a good thing because it means life is finally settling down.  This blog has always been a cathartic outlet for me, when I stop worrying about whether or not I’m being graded for my words.  So here goes…Upcoming posts will include tales of our first ever home purchase, the discovery that no two door knobs in our house are alike and that every layer of wallpaper is covering and even more interesting décor choice underneath, the gender reveal parties for our families that occurred on Thanksgiving before things went nuts, the challenge of naming our miracle babies & the pressure from others to stop calling them Baby A & B, and the struggle to try and enjoy some sort of “normal” pregnancy traditions when absolutely NOTHING has been normal. 

So for now I’ll leave you with an embarrassingly badly posed photo of myself taken last Thursday at 26 weeks 5 days pregnant-officially measuring what a woman carrying one baby would be at 32 weeks!!! THANKS AGAIN for all the love and support so many of you are sending our way through cards, prayers, meals,and on & on. 

*Note* I have been battling bronchitis since Christmas! Miserable! I am on my second antibiotic now and still struggling.  Hence you’ll notice the smile in this photo isn’t exactly a toothy grin from ear to ear.Prayers in this area would be greatly appreciated as well!!!